That Time I Said YES and Didn?t Change My Mind

Apr 17, 2013 4:19am

cottage weekend

Every time I say yes to doing something socially, I freak out a little bit before said social event.

Last weekend was no different. Angela invited a few friends to her cottage and I wanted to go so badly, but also, there’s a part of me that always feels dread the closer that a social event gets. I used to be embarrassed or feel bad or worse: cancel because of these feelings, now I know that it’s just a part of me and it doesn’t mean I won’t have a good time.

But I’d be lying if I said I was purely thrilled about leaving my family, missing my boy’s hockey game, and getting together with women I met online. Killers anyone? Really, killers were the least of my worries. Here are my irrational fears laid out for you to laugh at and judge. Really, it’s okay, I won’t get my feelings hurt.

cottage weekend 007_New

shannon’s photo

1. Edie. My dearest longest, most kindred online friend was going too and although we’ve skpyped, texted, emailed, blogged to and about each other for years, we’ve only met in real life a few times and ever-so-briefly. What if Edie and I didn’t hit it off in person the way we have in my mind? Does she know she’s one of my bloggy BFFs?


darlene, angela, shannon, sheila, me, edie

2. Shannon. I’ve seen her stunning work online for years. She’s one of the most talented designers around. When the magazine came to my house in Januarythey left my house and went straight to Shannon’s. I was really intimidated to meet her. Have I mentioned meeting new people is stressful to me?

3. Darlene. Darlene is the one in the group I’ve spent the most time with in person, after hanging out with her at Allume for a few years, phew, I wasn’t even worried about her. Sorry Darlene, I already knew you were amazing.


4. Angela. I’ve known her online forever. Years ago I had a Nesting Place board of smart people to help me make decisions and she was a board member. She’s been a friend for quite some time and when someone asks me my favorite artist or designer, I say her name. I’ve met her in real life on multiple occasions and was pretty sure I didn’t need to hyperventilate about hanging out with her but I was still nervous because we’ve never hung out for an entire weekend. What if she thinks (realizes) I’m annoying?

5. Darlene’s friend. Oh this one was the worst. An unknown, non-blogging person that was coming who I couldn’t stalk online and learn about before hand. I was a wreck. Why, WHY did Darlene have to bring a friend, how could she do this to me?!

Clearly I am insane.

So here’s how it played out.

1. Edie. Yep. We are just like I thought we’d be. Maybe better. Now I know why online dating sites work. I have a devoted, undying love for Edie.

2. Shannon. It always ALWAYS happens this way. The person I’m most afraid of, most intimidated to get to know, turns out to be the most endearing. I love this woman. Also, she brought us all gifts– handmade!

3. Darlene. Yep. She never disappoints, I was so smart not to worry about her.

4. Angela. No hyperventilating required–I was right! Full of grace and wisdom and the best taste of anyone on the planet.


5. Sheila. Turns out Darlene’s friend has a name and is absolutely lovely. She reads Nesting Place! I was so happy that she didn’t think we were a bunch of weirdos (when I say “we” I really mean “I”.) Also, I was so, so very glad she came, it wouldn’t have been as fun and meaningful without Sheila.

We all met at Angela’s cottage, my favorite place on earth. Which is the one thing I wasn’t worried about. Because the cottage holds nothing but relaxing memories for me, it was the main part about the weekend that put me at ease. I’m so glad I didn’t let fear keep me from going. It would have been so easy to back out and stay home. But I needed this. I needed to laugh really hard, to drive in the car by myself for a few hours, to meet new people, to get to know long time friends better, to be in a quiet, beautiful place, to be inspired by words and thoughts and beautiful things.

I’m so glad I said yes and didn’t back out.

the cottage

wondering more about the cottage? not to worry, I wrote a series about my muse:

The Painted Cottage


A Case Study on Case Goods

did you know you can go to the cottage too it’s west of Asheville NC and has been featured in Cottages and Bungalows!

Caroline and I are bringing our husbands and are going again in late July and I cannot wait.


How to get along with an introvert via Don Miller

Do you long for a community of friends? Sign up for (in)RL to meet other women in your community, you won’t be sorry.

Freshen up your home this year with Jeanne Winter's encouraging art.


Read more on Nesting Place >

About This Author

I started Nesting Place in November of 2007. I've always had a love affair with my house, ok, with all houses, and this blog is a place for you to come and find decorating encouragement, creative ideas, and be reminded that "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful". I like deals. I like to find things and make them beautiful. I'm also not afraid to save my cold hard cash and invest it in a good sofa.


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